Things I View As Romantic

   I got asked by an aromantic friend about what romance is to me, what things I view as romantic. It was an interesting mental challenge, to try and bridge a gap of understanding with someone who does not feel what I feel, who lives an entirely different experience from me and has a different mentality of the same gestures.

   What I amusingly had a somewhat hard time justifying was “What is the difference between a Loved One (romantically) vs A Really Good Friend”, a lot of what I view as romantic IS stuff you do very often with both romantic loved ones and Besties. Just at different levels of intensity, different levels of access that you give to your life to a romantic loved one versus A Bestie.

The list I put together:

   Going Out Of Your Way for someone else, doing something you Don’t want to do for someone else, going beyond your limit for someone else, lifting a burden on them and taking it upon yourself.

   (One of the most romantic gestures I personally view in the media i’ve seen, in an anime Blue Savant. A girl has a phobia, an impossibility of Climbing A Staircase. She needs to be assisted up elevation, or she mentally cannot climb. At the end of the show, her loved one is about to be murdered and she knows he’s about to be murdered, and without aid, she climbs that staircase, sweating, pained, going against her phobia. And saves his life.)

   Dates (Food, intimacy talk, knowing someone’s mind thoroughly, caring deeply about their likes and dislikes) Cooking for someone, caring for someone. Domming and subbing for someone is not always romantic, but can very easily Be romantic. Romance can mix with sex and friendship, but they can also stand on their own.

   One of the top things I require of my online dating is being in VCs with me, watching movies and shows with me. It’s a romantic gesture, and it is my favorite way to Do online dating at all is to watch things together, compromise on equal interest watching, share opinions and jokes. I do ALSO watch shows and movies very often with friends, but when i’m dating someone it’s one of the things I most often do to feel close to them, given long distance.

   Enjoying someone’s humor, enjoying their laugh, enjoying their ticks.

   Kissing is almost always romantic to me. On the lips. Cheek kisses and forehead kisses I accept as being platonic and cultural. Kisses on the lips are romantic.

   Putting a lot of someone in your mind is romantic. Learning their history, all about them, their likes and dislikes, their fears and hopes, their past accomplishments and their current accomplishments.

   Hugging and touching are easily romantic. Temporary hugs can be platonic (1-3 seconds long), longform hugs are romantic. (More than 10 seconds long)

   Playing with my hair, combing my hair, brushing my hair, are romantic. Doing my hygiene for me, washing my skin, is romantic. This list is not in totality, and it is not meant to be objective. These are my personal views and feelings on romantic gestures.

Kabbyyss: Bites vs kisses

Kabbyyss: A lot of ppl see biting as romantic

⚧ Xenia Demonheart ☭: Yep, biting is romantic, when it’s not in a fight.

⚧ Xenia Demonheart ☭: There are A Lot of things you do that I only really accept you doing because you’re aromantic.

⚧ Xenia Demonheart ☭: Kinda like how I don’t care about giving feet people feet pics because it means nothing to me.

Kabbyyss: Thats so sweet.